This post is based on Episode 121 of the ProBlogger podcast.
Today I’m going to talk about Imposter Syndrome.
Are you ever afraid of being found out soon? That it is only a matter of time before everyone realizes that you are not as smart as you thought, or that you do not really know what you are doing?
I have suffered from imposter syndrome quite often over the years. And I’m going to share a couple of occasions when it pretty paralyzed me.
But I’ll also introduce seven different strategies that you can use to deal with imposter syndrome, and even make it work for you instead of against you. Start with…
1. Include the positive ones
If you are concerned about imposter syndrome, it probably means that you are doing your best and wanting to achieve something.
And that’s good.
No, it doesn’t cure you of imposter syndrome. But it means you have standards. You don’t just want to get through. You want to achieve.
And you have to hold onto that. If you didn’t feel like a scam, you would probably be content with simply flying past the seat of your pants.
2. Set realistic expectations
I have been paralyzed by Imposter Syndrome several times over the years.
Such was the World Domination Summit a few years ago when Chris Guillebeau invited me to speak to 4,000 people in Portland, Oregon.
Within seconds of saying yes, the fraud syndrome started. At some point it got so bad that I woke up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night.
I struggled with my presentation for months and at some point almost withdrew. “I’m really sorry, Chris,” I wrote in an email draft. “I know it’s at the last minute, but I can’t do it.”
Fortunately, I realized that many of my thoughts were completely unrealistic and that I had unrealistic expectations of myself and my presentation.
I imagined my presentation to be the highlight of my speaking career. A conversation that everything else in my life would hold onto later. A conversation that would change everyone’s life in the room and make me look great.
I dreamed of perfectionism that went far beyond what was possible. And this perfectionism began to creep into my thinking.
I never sent this email. Instead, I flew to Portland and gave my presentation. And it was one of the best things I’ve ever done.
Perfectionism can be good because it can help you improve. But if you start to be obsessed with it like me, you realize that you may not be able to achieve what you imagine.
And you feel like a cheater.
3. Focus on your audience
One thing that really helped me face my fears and be present at this summit was realizing that all of my concerns were incredibly selfish. None of them had anything to do with my audience. They were all about me and how I could be perceived.
And so I started thinking about my audience instead:
- who they were
- how they could feel
- what the realities of her life could be
- how my words could affect your life.
It was a powerful thing for me. It shifted the focus away from my self-centered, greedy, selfish thinking (that didn’t help me anyway) and towards the reason why I’m presenting at all – the people in the audience.
Whether you are a blogger, YouTuber, Instagrammer, Podcaster or speaker, this is good advice. It’s so easy to think about what our content will make us look like.
“How will it make me look like?”
“Will I come across okay?”
You really need to challenge these thoughts and ask yourself, “How will my readers feel?” and “How can I change your life in any way?”
4. Be transparent
The only way that people can truly describe you as fraud or falsification is if:
- You try to be something that you are not
- You hide a reality of your situation from them.
Cliff Ravenscraft talked a little about it in the Social Media Marketing World. His suggestion was to be as honest as possible when you write your content, revealing things that effectively tell the reader, “This is who I am, I’ve experienced so far, that’s what I’m learning, and these are my hopes, dreams and goals for the future. “
This particularly affects people who blog about a topic that they cannot write about. I am often asked questions like: “I want to write about accounting, but I am not qualified as an accountant. Can I legally write about it?” And if I do, I almost always tell the story of how I started ProBlogger.
In the first two years of ProBlogger, I felt very much like a scam. I didn’t think I had as much experience as other people, I didn’t think I was technical enough. And while I was on my way to becoming a full time blogger, I didn’t think I was a great writer.
Instead, I thought I was lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time. And that it was only a matter of time before people discovered my weaknesses, my shortcomings and the gaps in my knowledge.
To counteract this, I decided to be very transparent about what I knew.
The first years at ProBlogger were more than anything else my story. I shared what I tried, what worked for me and what didn’t work for me. I have pointed out areas where I had no skills. I shared my own questions and asked my readers to teach me. I pointed out the mistakes I made and the mistakes I made (even the embarrassing ones).
And I admitted when I didn’t know the answer to a question.
If you don’t think you have the qualifications or answers, just admit it. This way you take away the ammunition that people can use against you if they accuse you of being a fake.
5. Have your success
People suffering from imposter syndrome often find it difficult to internalize and possess their successes. Instead, they attribute them to external factors such as good timing and good luck.
It is difficult to fight these feelings because we often think that way. But knowing the problem yourself can help, because there are things you can do to break this connection of thought.
It’s often about patterns in the way we think and speak. And so we have to break these patterns.
Whenever I want to say things like “I was lucky” or “I was in the right place at the right time”, I change my mind. Instead of saying “I was lucky,” I say something like “I worked hard for this opportunity,” which is much more realistic.
Yes, I was in the right place at the right time when I started blogging. But since then I’ve scraped my butt every day. I worked hard for the opportunities that were given to me.
You need to have your success and the work you do to achieve what you have achieved.
And if people acknowledge your success or give you positive feedback, you have to own it. So instead of explaining your success, thank them. Don’t deny your success – accept it.
Of course there are times when we fail. But let your mistakes surprise you, because they can feed fraud syndrome. Instead, redesign your mistakes as learning opportunities. Confirm your mistakes and use them as a springboard to success.
6. Say “yes” to opportunities that expand you
This may sound a little uninteresting. But I firmly believe that you can say “yes” to things that you are not sure you can do as long as you are transparent about them.
The only way to become an expert or point of contact in your industry or niche is to gather knowledge and put yourself in a position where the rubber hits the streets.
If you are afraid of being called a fake but are unwilling to put yourself in a position where you will learn and develop, you will never get over it.
You have to leave your comfort zone.
If someone believes you can do something that you’re not sure about, imagine the opportunity as a vote of confidence. Say “yes” and then learn how to do it.
You may have to say, “Yes, I will do it. But I have to learn a few things along the way.” Or “Okay. However, I may need support in this area because I have no qualifications.”
But take every opportunity that gets you out of your comfort zone because you will grow so strongly.
7. Learn to live with it
Although I’m not a psychologist, I doubt we’ll ever eradicate imposter syndrome there. After dealing with it for decades, I have come to accept that I only have to deal with it whenever it gets in my way.
We have to learn to use imposter syndrome to learn, grow, and do great things.
Above all, we have to learn not to be paralyzed.
If it paralyzes you at the moment (whatever it may be), I want you to talk to someone about it and take some responsibility for it. It can be a friend, blogger, or someone who can give you professional help.
Don’t let Imposter Syndrome rob you of the world, what you know, what stories to tell, or how to make the world a better place.
Instead, I want you to take it, live with it, learn from it, and put it in its place.
Do you suffer from imposter syndrome? How did you deal with it? Share your stories in the comments.