There are some things a DNA kit cannot tell you.
Getty / Eric Ba
When I was in fourth grade, I “interviewed” my grandpa and Nana for a class project. I loved hearing their stories, but I hated homework. Twenty years later, after both had died, I found the old log in a box when I moved. I read in tears the stupid questions my younger self had asked: Where did you go to school? What was your first job
My maternal great-grandparents.
Shelby Brown / CNET
Even though I had found this long lost gem, it was difficult not to regret all the questions I couldn’t ask when I came back. I didn’t ask grandpa what he thought about leaving school to go to work when he was 14. I didn’t ask Nana how she couldn’t inherit her family home in Germany after her father died because she was a woman. On the other side of the family, I didn’t ask Grandma Dottie about her time at the New York Metropolitan Opera. And I still don’t know about Pa George’s time as Mayor of Marshall, Michigan.
Nevertheless, I safely put away the valuable protocol, fearing that it would be the only one outside of old stories that I had to relate to my roots. I didn’t know that by 2020 we would have a number of technology services that would teach me more about not only my grandparents, but also their grandparents – and give me a new way of understanding myself.
Picking out information and interacting with your story is a valuable undertaking that allows you to go beyond used stories and discover the root of your roots. And the seemingly limitless technical services that are now available to you (or mouth swabs) can bring you up close.
My family history journey started on Ancestry.com, where I created a family tree for both my mother and father. When the site discovered new information and potential family members, “leaves” filled my tree. I didn’t think it would be as exciting as the dramatic commercials made it appear – but somehow it was.
Pa George, my paternal grandfather.
Shelby Brown / CNET
In Ancestry’s database were the two draft maps of my grandfathers from World War II, photos of strict-looking great-great-grandmothers in hoods and floor-length skirts, photos of 19th-century relatives adorned with vests and pocket chains, and even the name of the ship that brought my father’s Scottish ancestors to America.
The parentage also helped me to understand the resilience and courage of my maternal great-grandmother. After her husband died in 1938, she bravely continued in South Dakota with my grandfather and brothers aged 18, 19, and 24. In 1940, barely over the loss of her husband, she watched her sons sign up for the design.
When I delved into the family photo albums and boxes in my parents’ house, I turned to Google Lens, the search engine’s image recognition technology. The app helps me to narrow down German lands that can still be visited in Stadtallendorf and Hesse, where my family may have lived.
The next step in my family history was a DNA testing service. I sent samples to AncestryDNA and 23andMe to see if my legacy actually matched the stories I was told and if there was more to learn.
Both services require a saliva sample and analyze your DNA to determine where your family is from, as well as relationships with other users and health reports.
I wasn’t too surprised by my DNA origins, according to the kits: Germany, Ireland, Scotland, England. Each region is divided into smaller regions that describe what life was like when my ancestors might have lived there. Although the descriptions weren’t specific to my family, they helped release the black and white photos and gave me context for the period.
Both kits have also identified other close relatives and have given me the opportunity to contact them. I was able to send a message to my maternal aunt and my mother’s cousin in the west via the app. While my aunt is just a phone call away, I can choose to connect with my second cousin and see what I can learn from my grandfather from her.
Nana, probably around the mid-1930s.
Shelby Brown / CNET
My childhood memories of my maternal grandmother are a bit German.
“My favorite“Said Nana with a smile as she straightened my hair.”My darling. ”
Her light build, impeccable manners and prompt tea times did not prevent her from cheering “Cheers!” (Cheers) whenever my sister or I belched too loudly and the rare curse word (in both languages).
My grandma (left) and Nana (right).
Shelby Brown / CNET
When I looked through the photos later in life, I found that all the notes on the back were also in German. The next step on my family history trip was clear: I had to learn some German.
I downloaded Duolingo, an app that I had used only for Spanish and school in the past. As I worked through the basics – nouns, pronouns, greetings, introductions – I wondered what it would be like to speak to Nana in her mother tongue. Although I cannot have it, it felt like something connected to me. Speaking the language she spoke was another way to keep her memory alive.
In the quiet moments of closure, I wonder how my grandparents would have reacted to technology if they were still alive today. Grandpa had a keen sense for crossword puzzles. If I showed him what my first Nokia prepaid camera phone could do in the early morning hours, he would peek over his glasses and giggle as if to say, “What are you going to think about next?” and go back to his riddle. Imagine he could have seen the iPhone 11 or the Galaxy Z Flip.
Grandma Dottie on the radio in Michigan.
Shelby Brown / CNET
Nana did 99% of her purchases over the landline, with catalog pages meticulously donkey-eared and one or two items circled in pencil. You might have liked Amazon Prime. She would probably swear in German and disappear in the kitchen if I told her about Facebook. And I have no doubt that Pa George and my grandma Dottie, the family’s social butterflies, had an active, healthy presence on Facebook.
There are aspects of my family history that no app or service could have told me about. Grandma Dottie’s show poster as a headliner in Hello Dolly would not have appeared. The black and white photo of a young Pa George in his study frowned in concentration as he flipped through paperwork.
But it’s still easy for me to get lost in the digital investigation. I will text my parents at odd times and ask for confirmation about a place or an event with little context. It has become an opportunity for us to make contacts and learn more together. This has taken on new meaning as we are no longer able to visit each other due to the COVID 19 pandemic.
For me the hardest part of Corona virus Lockdowns didn’t see my parents and sister – and admitted to myself that I didn’t visit them enough when the world was open. But we can still uncover our roots together and comfort ourselves that our ancestors went through difficult times.
So now when my family’s faces are on the phone screen for a video chat – all smiles, laughter and “How are you?” even though we all know the answer – I don’t wish to be ahead of time, even if it meant I could ask my grandparents more questions. I also don’t want to plan for the coming time. Now is enough.