This post is based on Episode 54 of the ProBlogger podcast.
This week I want to talk about fear. The point is not to eliminate it or ignore it, but rather to recognize it, use it and overcome it so that you can use it to your advantage.
Whether you’re a blogger, podcaster, live streamer, or social media user, fear has likely held you back at some point. Here are some of the most common fears I’ve heard over the years:
- “What if nobody reads it?”
- “What if I hurt someone with what I write?”
- “What if I don’t write as well as I think?”
- “What if people laugh?”
- “What if I say something stupid?”
- “What if I reveal too much about myself?”
- “What if I fail?”
- “What if I waste my time?”
- “What if people steal my content?”
- “What if I run out of things to say?”
- “What if I make a promise I can’t keep?”
- “What if I am attacked or persecuted?”
- “What if my product doesn’t sell?”
- “What if I am criticized for trying to make money on my blog?”
And I’m sure you could add a few of your own to the list.
When you make yourself and your thoughts available to other people to read, watch, and listen to, it is natural to fear how those people might react.
And believe me, you are not alone.
I’ve experienced many of these fears myself, not just blogging but also at the ProBlogger events we’ve hosted over the years. We are investing hundreds of thousands of dollars in these events, and these fears crossed my mind every time:
- What if nobody shows up?
- What if nobody buys a ticket?
- What if our speakers don’t arrive?
Fear can be useful
Fear can be very useful. It helped keep the early humans alive instead of being eaten by saber-toothed tigers. And even today, it prevents us from doing things that could endanger our lives (or at least make us think twice about them).
However, it can also keep us from doing things that are not so life threatening and even be good for us in the long run.
Fear is a signal that we need to be careful. But we shouldn’t get overwhelmed so much that we’re too afraid to do anything. Instead, we should evaluate exactly what it is about and respond accordingly.
I once tweeted, “Don’t let fear stop you from getting started. Let it motivate you to get ready. “Sometimes you have to overcome your fear and almost ignore it. For me it is often when I start a new project, although it can be a motivating factor at other times as well.
I’ve learned that when people ask me to do things, I have to put my fears aside (or at least to some point in the future) and just do them. Saying “yes” instead of giving in to my fears and saying “no” opened up all sorts of possibilities for me.
And when I have to face those fears that I’ve pushed aside, they become my motivation for doing the best possible job that I can do.
Think of fear as a sign
At one of our ProBlogger events, I said, “Fear is a sign that something important is about to happen.” And I think that’s a really important principle.
All the important things that have happened in my life so far have been accompanied by fear:
- when I suggested Vanessa
- when my children were born
- when i bought a house
- when I started blogging
- when I hired my first team member
- when I started my first ebook
- when I accepted my first speech
- when I wrote the ProBlogger book
- when I started podcasting.
That’s why I see fear as a signal that something important is about to happen, which can make it almost seem like a good thing.
Pay attention to the things that you are often afraid of and try to see them as signs instead of being overwhelmed by them.
Three questions to ask
Of course, it’s easier said than done to see fear as a sign rather than being overwhelmed by it. Here are three questions to ask yourself when you are feeling overwhelmed by a particular fear.
1. “What’s the worst that can happen?”
This question is about getting perspective and trying to translate your fears into some sort of reality. When you ask this question, you will find that the worst that can really happen is not that bad.
When my son started on a new basketball team, he was afraid he would look stupid in front of his teammates.
“What’s the worst that could happen?” I asked.
As he went through various scenarios of bad things that could happen, he found that none of them were bad after all.
2. “How would I recover if it were for the worst? did happen? “
This is an important question, especially when the worst that could happen is pretty bad.
At one of our ProBlogger events, I feared that our three international speakers would not make it due to a weather delay or something similar. And hosting an event that your three keynote speakers aren’t showing is a pretty bad thing.
So I wondered how I would recover if they didn’t make it and started making contingency plans like:
- run other sessions instead
- Our international speakers can connect via Skype
- to make amends for the participants in another way.
Neither of these solutions was perfect. But they made the “worst that could happen” seem a little less catastrophic.
Of course, the worst that can happen is sometimes so bad that you can never recover and either have to change what you are doing or not do it at all.
3. “What’s the best that can happen?”
This last question makes you stop focusing on the worst case scenario (which we all do) and thinking about the best case scenario. Because what actually happens most of the time is somewhere between these two extremes.
Focusing on the best possible result can give you the courage to take a step forward. You may not get there, but there is a chance you will get closer to it than the worst outcome you have feared all along.
Fear is a good thing
In conclusion, I would like to say that you shouldn’t try to crush your fear or get it out of your life. Fear is important and not something to be pushed aside entirely. You may need to push it a little from time to time, but you should always be careful. It’s a sign that something important is about to happen.
Whenever you are facing an important, life changing event, you will feel a little shaky. But as a friend once said to my wife: “Even shaky courage is still courage.” You don’t have to remove the fear. You just have to have enough courage to move forward.
And remember, courage actually comes from fear. If you are not afraid, you cannot be brave. So focus on getting a little shaky courage and taking a step forward despite the fear you feel.
Over to you
I would love to hear your feedback on this as I certainly don’t have all the answers. I still struggle with fear from time to time. Feel free to share your stories and advice in the comments.